The wind woke me up this morning, howling and shaking the satellite dishes on the roof of my hooch. But that's ok, I'm leaving today! I haven't seen the wind blow like this in months, it's nasty, and the dust is really effing with my sinuses. But that's ok! I leave today......by......uh......helicopter. Oh crap. Guess I'm not going anywhere....

Number of hilarious people that have said "Are you still here?" today = 5

Still here....

Daggum, it's like that movie, Groundhog Day. Every day, I wake up in my same damn bed and see the same damn people. I could be home right now slammin' Jack and cokes, but noooooo. Just curious...is anyone reading this??

Jinx \Jinx\, n. A person, object, influence, or supernatural being which is supposed to bring bad luck or to cause things to go wrong.

Me and my big mouth. I waited 2 hours for a chopper to get out of here last night and when it shows up, they say they don't have room. Meanwhile, the last convoy out of here for the next few days leaves. Looks like i'll be here a few more days.....I'm not saying goodbye anymore.

Baghdad, I hate long goodbyes, but.......

Goodbye Hazardous Waste Storage Area. You were the reason I came here. I've seen you grow so much over the last 10 months! I nursed you back into compliance and even installed an emergency eye wash so we could work safely together! I rearranged you countless times and swept the dust from you weekly. We were a great team....HWSA, you complete me.

Goodbye Rip It Energy Drinks! Feared by insurgents everywhere! What's even scarier than a heavily armed 19 year old who's totally wired on caffeine?? The fact that my daughter is getting her drivers license next month! Pay those insurance premiums.....

Goodbye $2 Cuban cigars! I've smoked one a day since I've been here. Anyone know a good dentist? My teeth be look'n a wee bit brown.

Goodbye big box of movies. There's about 5000 hours of movies in that box and I think I've seen 'em all. Except that box set of Friends--not sure how that got there--really!

Goodbye Hajji shops! I'm going to miss the outrageous prices you charge for cheap knock-off merchandise made in sweatshops by child laborers! Just like Kathie Lee!

Goodbye Salami in my fridge! We had some great times but I always resisted the urge to eat you. March 27 will be your first birthday (seriously!) and I'm gonna miss it. I knew we should have gotten you a passport so you could see the world!

Goodbye Shower/Urinal. You cleansed me and relieved me in an efficient manner, 'nuff said!

Goodbye boxes of milk that don't need to be refrigerated! What's up with that, anyway?? Fortified with enough vitamins and minerals to ensure a proper Jihad against the infidels!

And I'll miss you most of all, Scarecrow!!

Well, that's it for me, 16 months of working 12 hours every day in Iraq. It was a great ride thanks for reading along. I'll keep blogging when I get home, but until I get there I won't have any Internet access. Next stop, Houston. Well, actually Dubai.....OK, then Atlanta...but then...... TEXAS!

Wassup kiddies? I'm gonna have a mega-update tomorrow, got some good ideas. Well, they usually start off as good ideas, then I fumble the ball.

Anyhoo, I have a request: Does my blog load slowly? Let me know, 'cuz if it does I'll have to revamp it. Damn vamps never do anything right the first time. Let me know, ok?

AND SOUND OFF LIKE YOU GOT A PAIR!!

Pointless Crap Sunday

Another day almost over

I guess today is Superbowl Sunday. I hate missing another Superbowl, I'm SO ready to go home. I have no idea when I'm leaving, I'm just now finishing the reports they gave me the other day- the picture above is of the building I inspected. I thought it made a good picture, so I posted it. It's a beautiful day in Baghdad, sunny, 68 degrees, low humidity and no explosions....I love these palm trees, it makes it look tropical, I just haven't been able to locate the beach.

I made another huge mistake last month- I bought my friends satellite reciever and dish, TV, DVD player and microwave for $300. Now I can't get rid of any of it. I may have to just leave it to someone or sell it for I'm-addicted-to-crack prices.

The English Version of "Boomhauer"

This is Allan, our pregnant mechanic, he's like the English version of "Boomhauer" from the show King of the Hill. He starts talking and you wish he had subtitles 'cuz he's so hard to understand. Allans entertaining to talk to for about 5 minutes and then you wish your ears would fall off for the next 20. This man could talk to a brick wall for an hour. Oh, and that shirt used to be white--ancient Chinese secret, huh? I've been wanting to capture a picture of that shirt for weeks.