(which proves that I am getting old and dull)
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
THE BITCH IS BACK
(which proves that I am getting old and dull)
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Cut Short

Wooooo hooooo!! I'm about to turn in my laptop, so I will be computerless for the next 2 days. Earlier this month, I fried the power supply on my personal laptop, so thats just one more thing I get to do when I get home. I don't care, just get me out of here.
I've been shopping and pricing cars for the last 3 months and have 3 dealerships waiting for me to test drive perspective sleds. I've been reading up on car buying and haggling tips. I've been reading up on what NOT to say and I know the Blue Book values of each models according to their mileage, options, trim. I'm going to see which dealer is the most flexible. I am READY for battle.
I love my old car, but thats what it is....an old car. Its a 1991 Mitsubishi 3000GT that I bought 3 years ago when it had 68,000 certified miles. Its was sweeeeet. I had big plans for the car, but time changed my mind and its ......... Ok, I was going to ramble on, but its time to go. Screw that car, I'm getting a new one, byotch. Toodle-loo!
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Rectum?! It damn near killed him!!

Monday, July 7, 2008
Mad Matt beyond Thunderbox

Saturday, July 5, 2008
Freak Dog Chews off Womans HeadFri Jul 4, 12:35 AM ET
ALTON, Ill. - An Illinois woman says her beloved miniature dachshund gnawed off her head while she was asleep earlier this week. Linda Floyd told the Alton Telegraph Wednesday that her beloved Roscoe was euthanized because of safety concerns.
The 56-year-old says she has no feeling in her head because of nerve damage from diabetes. She discovered the head missing after waking from a nap Monday. She called her daughter, who then phoned 911.
A veterinarian says the head had been bandaged because the victim has a tendency to dress up like a mummy. That might have somehow attracted the dog, leading to the decapitation. There was no comment from the dog.
Friday, July 4, 2008
One down, 1,384,592 to go....

Larry Harmon, who turned the character Bozo the Clown into a show business staple that either delighted or scared the crap out of children for more than a half-century, died Thursday of congestive heart failure. He was 83.
OK, so I stole that paragraph from CNN and fixed it up a little. I hate clowns....Its not that I'm scared of clowns, its just that I find other things more a bit more amusing--like public executions and the mentally challenged. I never saw much use for clowns--I don't find them very funny, however, I found they scream like regular people when you smash their hands with a sledgehammer. That's funny. Since clowns are supposed to make you laugh, I thought Mr. Harmon would appreciate some going away humor:
- How to you kill a clown who has big, floppy shoes? With a big, floppy sack of door knobs!
- Whats better than a clown falling out of a 10 story window? Another one standing below him!
- Whats the difference between a dead cat in the road and a dead clown in the road? There's skid marks in front of the cat.





